Love is a powerful word, so powerful that it cannot be defined without endless digression and so ubiquitous that we take any possible definition for granted. Perhaps the best way to describe it is that “you know” when you know, you know?  But if you don’t know, if you’re not “in” with the crowd, then its secret knowledge becomes a sort of esoteric nightmare of failed obligation.  We’re supposed to fall in love. That’s what society tells us, and it’s infinite. Also, we’re told, you can fall in love at first sight, and you can fall out of love. You’re supposed to love your family and marry out of love. These are core obligations for most westerners. Marrying within your family, however, is the worst possible way to remain in society. I can say I love you. I love your hair, and I love what you’re doing with the place. When I say I Love You, though, then it’s a bit creepy and off-putting, especially if you haven’t met me.  If we look up “what is the meaning of love” on google, we get definitions, all-encompassing, diverging, and myriad definitions. Wikipedia has a 50+ footnote page on love which is part of a 50+ page series on this exact topic. More definitions add more confusion. And unless we’ve “fallen in love” or know what it means to “have loved and lost” a friend (or any other valuable cliches), we don’t know what to believe.  To put it most simply: Love is lack of separation. Lack of separation sounds an odd way to put it. Other words are dissolution, ego-death, and Complete Oneness, which all aim at saying the same thing. Namely, the self or ego no longer exists and is subsumed in the whole of Existence.  For many, this may irk preconceived notions of what Love is or isn’t because the feeling of being in love is so powerful and emotionally rooted in the ego. This feeling can strengthen and promote the egos involved as much as it can dissolve the many into the One. I will say that the emotions involved in love are not love itself because there is no one loving or to be loved. There is only Love itself.  It’s essential to make the distinction that though I’m defining Love as integration, wholeness, and acceptance, it is not a strict duality of this or that. Unless we’re an outstanding actor in a classic rom-com, we don’t fall in love at first sight, and we don’t automatically love ourselves or others. Finding integration and wholeness takes many steps over many years. We do not so much fall into love as grow into love with ourselves and anyone else.  Further, while I classify these various “types” of love, they are simply abstract classifications. We can divide these up two ways or two hundred ways, but they all overlap and intersect. It’s possible to experience the types I list simultaneously or differently at different times. The main point here is that Love involves integrating a separate self into an Infinite Self, and it’s quite a fantastic journey.  At the same time, while I love All and am Love, I know nothing. Rather than try to be an authoritative source on Love, I will be examining the different manifestations of love and how these relate to our own experiences in the world. While my definition works as a generalization, it is by no means the only explanation and, in many ways, falls short of the complexities and nuances of the world’s most elusive and all-powerful emotion.    Self-Love I suggest that the love of self is the most essential and fundamental love there is. To love oneself is to become whole in accepting oneself, not to be apart from any part of the self, shadow, and superlatives of one’s being. This does not mean that self-love is more important than other kinds or even necessarily different from them.  However, loving and accepting ourselves is the gateway to loving others. If we can’t or won’t love ourselves, we ignore integration and don’t have the foundation to translate our love of self to the world around us. Self-acceptance gives the framework from which we can extend our love to infinity. If we see ourselves as separate and unlovable, we will perpetuate and give that to the world.  Further, loving oneself is by no means a solely positive experience. Addressing our values, motivations, and shadow can be extremely painful and daunting, especially because we hide those things to protect ourselves. It is never solely an engagement in feeling good about ourselves or experiencing only positive emotions. It is about feeling whole about ourselves and experiencing the wealth of all emotions.    Romantic Love Romantic Love is perhaps the most significant and well-known manifestation of the world’s most powerful emotion. Fueled by powerful hormones, bodily reactions, and predominantly unconscious communication, romantic love has toppled empires and been the source of some of the world’s greatest stories.  Romantic love builds upon sexual attraction and transcends it, bonding two or more people in a committed relationship of intimacy. This relationship predicates each partner in the dance accounting for the others’ flaws. In this way, each individual becomes whole in the other.  Typically Western society implies that this type of love is relegated to two supposedly soul mates. However, this mindset limits the full potential that romantic love has to bond many different people, who, once in the embrace of their lover(s), reach completion as one.  It is also commonly believed that romantic love is necessary for wholeness, which may or may not be the case. Because love is a lack of separation and separation is an essential function of the ego, love is the dissolution of the ego. In other words, being in love means losing our selves, our egos, in completion with another or An Other. Falling in love with another is one way to complete oneself. Still, in many cases, the pursuit of this type of relationship without the necessary maintenance can lead to individuals furthering investment in themselves at the expense of others and becoming more separate in the process.    Platonic Love Platonic love is most commonly referenced by its negative: it is not romantic or sexual. Instead, it is the love that grows between two or more people out of a shared likeness, interest, or passion with another. It is often deemed more virtuous than romantic love because it does not bend its will to carnal pleasures or earthly delights. However, because all forms of love involve the dissolution of the self, it is impossible to rank any type of love over any other. For those in love, there is no one to rank an experience. There are no experiences, simply dissolution.  Still, platonic love involves another individual or individuals. In these types of relationships, similarly to long-term romantic ones, each individual appreciates and complements the flaws of the other. A synergy occurs, which yields a whole greater than its parts. Each individual becomes dividuals-in-consummation of a more significant entity than themselves.   Christ-Consciousness Christ-consciousness is a banger of a compound-word. When I mention Christ, I do not necessarily mean the historical figure Joshua of Nazareth. Instead, Christ is a reference point for all spiritual individuals who have learned the fundamental truth of Love. The mystery that is not a mystery, Love is All, All are Love, Love is the Wholeness of Existence.  And when I say this, I don’t mean that “all we need is love,” or “love is the only reason to live,” or even, “love is the most important thing.” These statements equate love with something that happens to us or something we experience in isolated bits of insight. The fundamental Love Christ referred to is not some particular club that exceptional or worthy or wanting individuals get into. Love is the Wholeness of Reality that binds form into the waters of Emptiness to be lost and found for eternity.  There is no work to do or place to go, Christ-Consciousness as Infinite Love is in every mundane moment of every monotonous day. Christ-Consciousness is the dirty dishes sitting in the sink, the missiles flying over Gaza, a birthday celebration, a mother weeping for her lost newborn. Christ-Consciousness is the bluejays singing, the vultures circling, the hawk descending, the chicklet hatching.  The love Christ spoke of is that of Total Acceptance and Wholeness. Truly radical, utterly impossible. Because we believe it needs to be something, it evades us. Because it does not exist but is existence, we constantly seek it. Because it requires not doing, all our efforts are in vain. But it is here, consciousness is, emptiness always.  It is possible to document this experience as a “Flow state,” and I believe that’s phenomenologically what’s going on when we experience Christ-Consciousness. Time and space evaporate, we become one with the activity we participate in, fatigue and boredom are impossible to fathom and at the center of it all is a supreme equanimity and Oneness with the universe.  Still, I’m going to be a party pooper here and claim (probably unsuccessfully) that the experience of flow is not Flow. The experience of infinite consciousness is not Consciousness. Flow, Love, Consciousness, Spirit are all names for that-which-cannot-be-named: Voldemort. No, wait, I meant to say the Emptiness of Existence. Love feels good, but the feeling of love is not love because being in love dissolves that which is loving.  This is the message of Christ: to love all that is, accept all that is because it is all a part of you, and me, and everything. Knowing this doesn’t make it any easier to understand. Its power lies in its mystery and pervasiveness.    Love is Dissolution of Self Love is the power of Emptiness, that which bonds us and touches every whisper of existence. This is not a conventional definition of love. When we think of love, we think of the experience of being in love. However, my distinction is between Love itself and the experience of love. I do not claim to be an authority on love. There are infinite ways to interpret and understand one of the universal constants of existence. Still, I believe that in the truest sense of the word, Love is Emptiness, and Emptiness is All.  When we fall in love, when we experience love, when we engage in flow, we lose ourselves in the moment, in the infinity of Now. Time and space evaporate, life and death fade into the distance, and we become Whole again.  The meaning of it, the great “Why?,” is one of the most fundamental mysteries of existence. Because Love is everything, we are never apart from it. But when we conceive of ourselves as separate, we become lost from it.  We can seek out the Emptiness and try to find love, and it’s only when we stop trying that we see it.  We can beat ourselves up for not being worthy of some abstract principle, or we can give up the superfluous constructs that we pretend to be and accept what is always Now.  This definition is, of course, a bit nebulous and abstract. What’s not abstract is the reality of right now, whatever you’re doing, wherever you’re going, whatever you feel, accept it as it is. That is the first step towards love and wholeness. Wherever you feel resistance, own that resistance, accept it and evaluate it. Attachment is the first step away from love. Acceptance is the first step towards it.  And if love is elusive and mysterious, that’s because it is and always will be. It’s not a unique experience or exclusive club. It’s this right here.  If nothing else, take away the fact that I love you for who you are because you are. You are Love.